


My Lover I Couldn't Love Anymore

by fringegapphil



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Angst, M/M, Sadness, gore? just bit though
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-01
Updated: 2015-08-01
Packaged: 2018-04-12 08:17:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,376
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4472045
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fringegapphil/pseuds/fringegapphil
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It was a normal day for anyone else, but on that day, Dan's world collapsed.</p>
            </blockquote>





	My Lover I Couldn't Love Anymore

**Author's Note:**

> this was one of the first fics I wrote. It's kind of short and very fast paced but I'd like to think that it was the fic that made me want to start writing. (link to [tumblr version](http://fringegapphil.tumblr.com/post/125558051170/my-lover-i-couldnt-love-anymore) )

I was sat at my computer, browsing the internet like usual, when I heard my cellphone ring. I ignored it for the most part, but the tune was beginning to annoy me. I groaned as I sat up and reached the small distance to grab the phone, anything to stop the annoying ring. I saw the number and recognized it immediately as Phil's number. I slid my thumb across the screen and accepted the call, quite curious as to why Phil would call me. He went out a while ago to get some props for his new video, saying he 'wanted to make it more interesting.' Typical Phil stuff.

“Hey babe, what's up?” I cooed into the phone, a smiling etched on my face.

“D-Dan?” I heard Phil whisper, voice broken like he was crying.

“Phil are you alright?” The smile falling from my lips as I heard the torn voice of boyfriend. There was screaming in the background, and the sound of things crashing. I jumped to my feet in shock.

“Dan I-I wanted to call you, I want to hear your voice in case it's the last time-” A bang went off, resonating through the phone and making me cringe.

“Phil, wh-what's going on?” Worry prominent in my voice, tears building in my eyes.

“D-Dan, I love you.” Phil's voice was shaking and I knew he was crying.

“Phil where are you?” I practically screamed down the line, anything to get him to talk to me.

“Dan there isn't time, please, just talk to me?” His voice quivered, I imagined his lip wobbling like it did when he cried.

“Phil you have to tell me where you are, what's going on?”

“Someone held up the store I'm in, I don't think anyone is going to make it out alive,” A loud crash pierced my ear, “He's going to kill me, I just want to talk to you before he does.”

“God dammit Phil, where are you?” The tears were streaming down my face, I was already out the door and running down the street. The phone clutched in my hand, my knuckled were turning white.

“Dan, it won't matter you won't be able to get in-” yelling, and a bang. “He just killed someone Dan, I'm so scared.” Phil's sobs echoed in my ear.

“Phil it'll be alright, you're going to be fine.” I cried back, knowing my words probably weren't true, but hanging on to them anyways.

“Dan, I love you so mu-” Phil began, before I heard a man yelling. My heart stopped, and so did I. I was stuck to the pavement, listening. It was silent for a split second, then I heard a click.

“Dan!” Phil screamed, and I heard the loudest bang yet. Right before the line went dead, I heard a small whimper. Phil's.

“Phil!” I shrieked, now it was like my feet couldn't stop moving. I was running, in no particular direction. Following the wailing of sirens that surged past me, I found the shop. The one Phil was in, he could still be alive. I ran toward the shop that had police on every side, people trying to hold me back as best they could. I wailed for Phil at the top of my lungs, my voice going horse from it.

“Phil, oh god, Phil!” I cried, my knees giving out and I fell down to the pavement. The police pulled me back behind the line of cars and they held me there. I cried, my hand's in my hair, my ears ringing painfully as I heard more gun shots. It felt like only moments when I heard the police yelling and shooting, and that's when I looked up. They were wrestling down a guy, cuffing him quickly. When they picked him up, anger boiled in my veins _he hurt Phil _.__ I raced forward, no one stopping me and I clutched onto his neck. My hatred burning in my heart, the police pulled me away from him. He grinned evilly at me as I was held with my hands behind my back, preventing him further injury. My attention was then diverted as I saw people beginning to be lead out of the shop. _Phil should have made it out_. I couldn't help but feel mad that these people made it out. Even so, I rushed into the building, calling Phil's name. I ignored the shouts at me from the people, I ran down aisle after aisle, hoping to see Phil.

Then I wished I hadn't seen him. He wasn't smiling, like he is suppose to be. His face was blank, and his pale skin was even paler. Blood was pooling around his curled up body, leaking from a wound in the middle of his chest. I gasped, hand over my mouth as I ran forward towards the only true friend I ever had. The only person who has ever brought light back into my eyes, the only person I've ever truly loved. I brushed the fringe out of his face, stroking his cheek gently and rolling him onto his back.

“P-Ph-il?” I whispered. He didn't move. “Phil, no Phil come on! Get up!” I began shaking him, hoping for the smallest of reaction. “Please.” My head dropped to his shoulder and I sobbed. My world, my light, my everything was gone. The blood seeping into my clothes, reminding me coldly as I held Phil close. My lover I couldn't love anymore, lying on the floor. I couldn't hold him close anymore. I couldn't kiss, or cuddle him anymore. I couldn't lie with him after sex and hold his hand with sweaty palms and pounding hearts in our chests. Nothing would be the same, he was there every step of the way in my success as a youtuber and he was my flatmate. He was so much, and now because of some twisted mind he was dead. Phil is dead. I choked out the smallest of sobs, and I felt a numbing feeling fall over me. I grasped Phil's shoulders and felt the world we built together collapse.

 

~ **Phil's Perspective** ~

“Dan I'm going out!” I grabbed the door handle and heard him mumble a 'bye love you' and I rolled my eyes. We've been together long enough that he doesn't even have to think to say 'I love you' anymore. I remember when he was all shy and he couldn't say it without stumbling over his words. I had to kiss him about a thousand times, to which he blushed and said it without hesitation. Ever since that moment back in 2009, we've been together.

I walked down the pavement, admiring the clear blue sky, on my way to the shop to collect some stuff for a recent video idea. Heaven knows it'll probably be a flop, but it was an idea. Plus, I needed to make a new video, so this would have to do.

I entered the small building, being greeted kindly by the women at the counter. I smiled back and began browsing the aisle's looking for nothing in particular. I trailed down an aisle a bit back in the store, browsing the shelves. They held all sorts of different colored acrylic paints and brushes. Nothing I could really purposely use, but I could probably make something look extra fun with it. I picked up a bright colored pink paint and looked it over. ' _Why not_?' I thought to myself, holding the paint under my arm as I looked for some other bright colors. I ended up finding a green, and purple, both of which were so bright they hurt my eyes. Perfect.

I was about to turn out of the aisle to find some other random stuff for my video when I heard yelling. I poked my head around the corner to see a man, around forty, waving something in his hand at the women behind the counter. It didn't take me but one glance at the woman's face and a quick double take to see what it was. A gun. I felt my whole body go numb, as I dropped all the paint on the floor. The thud as it hit the ground was muffled by the screams that echoed the building from the people who were just finding out about the 'hold up.' I wasn't sure what exactly the man was demanding, but he definitely wasn't after money.

I cowered back behind the shelf and slid down them. I felt myself shaking and tears falling down my cheeks as I fumbled around my jeans for my phone. As I got it out I quickly dialed the number I knew by heart. I heard the ringing, once, twice, three times and nothing. I began quietly sobbing into my hand, hoping to god that Dan would answer his phone. I needed to hear his voice, I needed comfort.

“Please pick up Dan, please.” I cried. I clutched the phone to my ear, my body trembling.

“Hey babe, what's up?” I heard Dan say in a cheery voice. I let out a shaky breath, instantly feeling more calm.

“D-Dan?” I stutter out, hoping Dan would hear. I heard a vase of sorts fall to the ground and more screaming ringing deep in my ears. I barely heard what Dan had said, only muffled noise through the receiver.

“Dan, I wanted to call you, I want to hear your voice in case it's the last time-.” I heard his gun go off and i buried my head in my knees. I felt slightly hopeless. I knew somewhere inside of me that I wasn't getting out of here.

"Phil whats going on?" I heard Dan say in a worried tone.

"Dan I-I love you," i said, whimpering feeling tears roll down my cheeks. If I was going to die, at least I could say that once more.

“Phil where are you?” I hesitated for a moment. I actually considered telling him, but I could never put him in harms way. Instead I chose to quietly say back, “Dan there isn't time, please, just talk to me?” My voice strained as I said it. I wanted with everything in me to tell him where I was, I wanted him to come get me and bring me home and everything be alright. I want to feel his arms around me and him hold me close and tell me it was a bad dream. I wanted my Dan.

“-What's going on?” I heard Dan demand, only really partially hearing as I was pulled into my thoughts.

“Someone held up the store I'm in, I don't think anyone is going to make it out alive.” I said truthfully. Behind me a shelf shook the ground as it fell. “He's going to kill me,” I excepted it. I knew he was going to find me eventually. “I just want to talk to you before he does.” I whined. I wished Dan would somehow pull me through the phone and kiss my head like he does when I'm scared of a horror movie.

“God dammit Phil, where are you?”I caught the break in his voice. He was crying too, and that made me sob a bit louder. I wanted to be with him so bad.

“Dan, it won't matter you won't be able to get in.” I knew this guy had probably made sure the place was blocked off. I heard a loud bang from the front of the store. A wail followed. “He just killed someone Dan, I'm so scared.” I Finally allowed myself to lean on Dan. I needed him to comfort me. Sobs ripped themselves from my throat, Dan's name being brought with them.

I clung to my phone like a lifeline, hearing Dan's almost soothing voice telling me I'd be fine. I knew it wasn't true,but I felt calm for the moment. I sunk my head down between my knees. “Dan, I love you so mu-” I tried before I heard someone yell behind me. I dropped the phone from my hands, scuttling backwards into the corner of the shelves. The man above me was fuming with anger. He quickly pointed the silver gun right at me. My blood ran cold, and I heard a click. “Dan!” I screamed, hearing a loud bang rip through my ears. Then came the most painful feeling, ripping through my chest. A burning feeling spreading like wildfire through me, causing me to fall to my side. My head hit the tile and a small whimper fell from my lips. I coughed, the pain returning and blurring my vision. I saw red, so much red. I saw the man, stood in front of me, his foot coming off my broken phone. I couldn't look up at his face, all I could do was lie there in pain. My chest heaved as I felt an almost empty sensation. I curled my knees close to me involuntarily, doing anything I could to try and stop the pain.

For a few moments, the pain surged through my whole body and I felt everything rushing around me. I felt every memory flash before my eyes. So this is what it's like to die. I thought, if I was going to die, it was going to be in the hospital. That it was going to be after a long life, maybe with Dan there with me. This death was painful and slow and I was crying and I don't know if the wet feeling beneath my head was the tears or my blood. I couldn't care less though, after the pain faded and my mind began to drift from everything, I felt something completely different. I felt calm. My thoughts were pushed away an all i could see, and imagine was Dan. I felt, as my eyelids grew heavier, Dan's arms around me. I felt his hands holding mine and his lips fitted against mine. I felt Dan, and I was happy. I clutched my chest, and with a breath that felt final, I whispered, “Dan.” The last thing that crossed my mind was Dan's breath on my neck this morning when he told me he loved me as his arms wrapped themselves securely around me.


End file.
